The impact of little things

The most phenomenal thing I did last year was a research project. A study of the psychosocial effects in women who've undergone an abortion -My first attempt at medical research! Psychiatry, to be specific. I spent so many evenings trying to figure out things that seemed absolutely impossible, trying to make sense in a land of mush where nothing is clear or certain.

Also I realised that there's a point where you must accept that something is beyond your reach, and not hesitate to seek help. Your ego isn't important when you need things done. Sometimes all that's important is the cause, and it's okay to be persistently desperate to get to it.

So much contradicting advice, so many different options, so many times i second guessed myself, and so much of work. So many people who expect so many things from you, which is hard to satisfy, because some of them don't say it outright; they even expect you to know what is expected from you, for yourself.

I really learnt to hold it out, much past what I knew I was capable of. I learnt not to give in to the voices that said I've done enough, that this is my breaking point. There is no breaking point. It's just how far you're willing to go. I've learnt to stay close to my well wishers, because you'll always find someone to tell you it's okay to give up, when you are on the verge of it; and the truth is, it's not okay, so you need people to tell you that, instead.

Of the women that I spoke to, many of them broke into tears over their lost child. At first I thought I was doing harm to them, in the name of helping in the advancement of science. But as they told me, many were happy to just have someone to share their feelings with. Providing poor, innocent women with a scaffolding to express themselves; a privilege that many of them didn't otherwise have; it was worth all the hard work! Most of these people came from families where feelings, in general, weren't given much importance. Giving them a chance to let out all the pent up sadness was something they appreciated.

The findings, from all of the questions they answered, will definitely be a tiny drop of the advancing ocean of science that strives to make everyone's lives better. Maybe the result of my work, and the work of many thousands of people who try to find answers in the same direction, will help to devise methods to curb the mental suffering after an abortion in our country.

I learnt that doing anything which generates profound impact requires a lot of commitment and effort, and at the end of it, once you have made your tiny contribution, the biggest impact will have been made on you, yourself. :)

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.